Logical Jokes?

Few logical jokes here. Find out if you can find an answer for them!!!

You can study and get any certificates. But you cannot get your death certificate!! What a revelation????

You can expect a bus in the bus stand but not a full from a full stop. (Full should be treated as a full glass of liquor)

You can be a billionair, but to catch a train you have to come to a platform. (In India, we call a person who is in good position in the society and if he has not been doing good now, we say, he has come to the platform).

You can have AIRTEL, AIRCEL or BSNL connection, but when you sneez, you have to say "HUTCH" (Airtel, Aircel, BSNL, Hutch now Vodofone are telecome service providers)

You can bcome an engineer if you study in an engineering college. But, you cannot bcom a president if you study in Presidency College. (Chennai, India has a Presidency College)

You can find keys in Keyboard but you cannot find mother in motherboard!!!

New Sardarji Jokes

Santa decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.
Rajiv: Santaji How is your MBA preparation?
Santa Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv: Logic is very easy.
Santa: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Santa: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
Santa: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Santa: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Santa: YES.
Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Santa: YES.
Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.
Santa: YES.
Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
Santa was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Butasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Santa: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Santa: Oh, logic is easy.
Buta: Please, give me an example.
Santa: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta: NO, I don't.
Santa: Saala HOMO!!!
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One Sardu was going to Chandigarh from Pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the assistant captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the sardarji. Captain told: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."
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Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected: He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: "Yes"
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Job Jokes

Employer: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I am the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
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A man called an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?"
The clerk said, "Just a minute...."
The man said, "Thank you," and hung up.
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Supervisor called a secretary to give her the bad news that she was being fired. He started the conversation with: "Ms. Jane, I really don't know how we're going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we're going to try."
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"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months."
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A man was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six mles; the next day three miles; following day less than a mile. When the foreman asked the man why he kept painting less each day, he replied, "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."
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"Do you believe in life after death?" the bo asked one of his employees.
"Yes, Sir," the new employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."
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The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing t work hard for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer."
The apprentice did just as he told. Now he's the village blacksmith.
==================================================================== An applicant was filling out a job application form. The question was "Have you ever been arrested?" The applicant answered "No."
The next question was "Why?" intended for people answered "Yes" to the previous question, the applicant answered "Never got caught."
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Reaching the end of the interview, the HR asked the candidate who his fresh out of college, his expectations on the package. The candidate said, "$100,000 pa."
The HR guy said, "Well, what about the package of 5-weeks vacation, 10 paid holidays, full medical and dental reimbursments, retirement fund, a company leased car, fully furnished apartment?"
The candidate said, "interesting and flattering, but I think you must be joking!"
The HR guy said, "Well, you started it first."
==================================================================== Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
==================================================================== HelpLine: Auto Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!
HelpLine: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?
Customer: What's an ignition?
HelpLine: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.
Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?
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